You Had One Job (Duck for Cover, Bro)

And, in the case of a bulletproof vest, that job is to FRIKKEN STOP BULLETS. Not fall apart in the midst of a heated gun battle on the rough and tumble streets of Ohio. Okay, we got a little bit dramatic there but you get the gist: here, Point Blank Enterprises, is the subject of class-action lawsuits initiated by Ohio and Florida police unions. The company with the not-so-subtle name has a history with legal trouble, having already visited a bankruptcy court once before. This bit is next level: "The issue is that the shoulder straps routinely disconnect from the vest's ballistic panels (which are what stops bullets). They come loose on the front as well as the back. When this happens, officers have no choice but to stop whatever it is they're doing and get to safety where they can fasten their vest back together using either safety pins or duct tape, according to the police unions." Yup, you read that right. Cops have to STOP WHATEVER IT IS THEY'RE DOING to duct tape back together their bulletproof vests. The company denies the allegations, of course. One last point before we stop pulling our hair out on account of this ridiculousness and move on: the former company CEO had 50 Cent entertain guests at his daughter's Bat Mitzvah. Query: did FITTY have to duct tape his bulletproof vest back together in the middle of his set?