đ„KKR Effectively Tells Bernie Sanders to Pound Sandđ„
Toys R Us (Short Severance Payments)
Toys R Us (Short Severance Payments). Ok, this is getting out of hand. Shortly after Dan Primack wrote that KKR ought to pay for 30,000 employeesâ severance OUT OF THE GOODNESS OF KKRâS HEART, Pitchbook jumped in parroting the same nonsense.
Look. Donât get us wrong. Long time readers know that weâve been hyper-critical of the PE bros since our inception. But this is just ludicrous already. In âđ©Will KKR Pay Toys' Severance?đ©â and again in âđ„Amazon is a Beastđ„â we noted that â[t]hereâs ZERO CHANCE IN HELL KKR funds severance payments.â We stand by that. Without any legal compunction to do so, these guys arenât going to just open up their coffers to dole out alms to the affected. Thatâs not maximizing shareholder value. Those affected arenât exactly future LPs.
But wait. This keeps getting better.
On Friday, The Wall Street Journal reported that on July 5:
Nineteen members of Congress sent a letter to the private-equity backers of Toys âRâ Us Inc. questioning their role in the toy retailerâs bankruptcy and criticizing the leveraged-buyout model as an engine of business failure and job loss.
The letterâs content? Per the WSJ:
It asks whether the investment firms deliberately pushed Toys âRâ Us into bankruptcy and encourages them to compensate the roughly 33,000 workers who lost their jobs.
Take a look at this letter. It demonstrates an utter lack of understanding of how private equity works.
Meanwhile, Congress cannot get the President of the United States to turn over his tax returns with the entire country waiting for that to happen and yet weâre supposed to believe that a letter will compel KKR to make severance payments. Utterly laughable. KKR owns those fools and they know it. Okay: maybe not Bernie Sanders.
Imagine the response:
âUm, yes, Representative Poindexter. We did. We deliberately flushed hundreds of millions of dollars of equity checks down the toilet. We hear that makes a compelling marketing message to potential LPs of our next big fund.â
Thankfully, you donât have to imagine the response because KKR already responded. Per the WSJ:
KKR issued a response dated July 6 stating that Toys âRâ Usâs troubles were caused by market forcesâspecifically the growth of e-commerce retailersâand that the decision to liquidate was made by the companyâs creditors, not KKR, and was against the firmâs wishes.
Furthermore:
KKR stated in its response that it reinvested $3.5 billion in Toys âRâ Us over the course of its ownership and didnât take any investment profits. It added that it wrote down its entire equity investment of $418 million and challenged reports that it had earned a profit on the investment.
âEven accounting for fees received from Toys âRâ Us, we have lost many millions of dollars. To find anyone who profited, one would need to look at the institutions that pushed for Toys to liquidate its U.S. business,â the firm wrote.
In other words: âPound sand, Sanders.â